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Imagine dating a woman who’s a seasoned world traveler, yet you never take her abroad so she can shine in her natural element. Or imagine buying a Steinway grand piano when you’re only intention is to play “Chopsticks.” “OK, enough — I get it!” my traveling companion said, irritated by my analogies. Analogies, I will say in my defense,...




Imagine dating a woman who’s a seasoned world traveler, yet you never take her abroad so she can shine in her natural element. Or imagine buying a Steinway grand piano when you’re only intention is to play “Chopsticks.”

View full sizePhoto by James Gaffney/The Times-PicayuneMore than just a pretty face: Off-road technology standard on the 2011 Range Rover Sport HSE include four terrain settings, four-wheel electronic traction control and two-speed electronic transfer box with electronic center differential.

“OK, enough — I get it!” my traveling companion said, irritated by my analogies.



Analogies, I will say in my defense, to compare what it is surely like to own the luxe, Gladiator-lite Range Rover Sport HSE, but never take it off-road.



“Are you in ‘rut’ mode?” she asked.



She wasn’t being sarcastic. Truth is, I was in mud-rut mode — one of four terrain settings available at the turn of a rotary knob on the main console that enables the British-born Sport to tackle virtually any on- or off-road condition a driver is likely to encounter. (Others include grass/gravel/snow, sand, and rock crawl.)



After all, we had come to the Bonne Carre Spillway to party four-wheel-drive style.

View full sizePhoto by James Gaffney/The Times-Picayune

Other performance-enhancing technology includes a suspension ride height adjustment; four-wheel electronic traction control and two-speed electronic transfer box with electronic center differential; four-channel, all-terrain, anti-lock braking system; all-terrain dynamic stability control; gradient release control; hill descent control; and independent front and rear suspension.



Don’t think for a moment all of this didn’t come in handy as we pressed our way through the deeply rutted and muddied backstretches of the Spillway, now a veritable otherworldly landscape. This the result of countless metric tons of fresh silt and sand deposited in the Spillway when officials opened it to relieve the dangerously high waters of the Mississippi River last spring. Earth-moving equipment has since created mountain-like ranges of sand up to 20 feet tall.



All of which made for an ideal playground in which to test the mettle of the Sport, whose 19-inch wheels and 5.0-liter V-8 powerplant, mated to a six-speed automatic (with command-shift normal, sport and manual modes), promised to be equal to the task. Backing up that bravado were 375 horses and 375 pound-feet of torque.



My companion looked nervous.



“The Queen of England drives this, so we should be OK, right?” she asked.



We bounded over artificially created sand dunes, spun in circles on silt flats, gouged ruts in already deeply muddied holes and otherwise gave the Sport HSE a ferocious run for its $60,000 base price tag (my test vehicle cost $62,745). Passenger warning: Don’t attempt to reach for the iPod connection when your vehicle is lurching every which way but loose.



I stopped the car to enjoy the full flush of my testosterone rush when a parish deputy patrolling in a 4x4 pickup truck pulled along side my vehicle and rolled down his window.



“I can probably tow you out of this simple stuff if you get stuck,” he said smiling, “but if you go way back where it’s still really deep in mud, well, that’s a different matter.”



Anglophile dream

What is it that gives the Range Rover that “otherness” and perceived first-among-equals status when it comes to SUV cache? Is it because we secretly believe anything with an English “accent,” even if it’s an automobile, is smarter and superior? Is it the legacy of cool Land Rover/Range Rover has accumulated goi

Tags: Land Rover, is-featured

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CARRE ON! We make Range Rover get on all fours at the Spillway was originally published by New Orleans Auto Reviews: Land Rover. Read the full story by clicking here.