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By James Gaffney Automotive writer We were zipping along a gorgeous stretch of long and winding two-lane road just outside Tickfaw State Park, the torque virtually tenderizing antimatter while 300 screaming horses turned one gently sloping curve after another into my idea of a grown-up’s blacktop playground. Fearlessly working the gearbox while redlining at 6,700 rpm, I knew I...


Photo by James Gaffney/The Times-PicayuneBy James Gaffney
Automotive writer

We were zipping along a gorgeous stretch of long and winding two-lane road just outside Tickfaw State Park, the torque virtually tenderizing antimatter while 300 screaming horses turned one gently sloping curve after another into my idea of a grown-up’s blacktop playground.

Fearlessly working the gearbox while redlining at 6,700 rpm, I knew I wasn’t driving a mere automobile but rather a nimble, 3.0-liter V6 road angel, who reflexively intuited my every whim as I melted endless ribbons of Louisiana back road.

She seemed to actually care about my hopes and dreams — and not just the weird ones.

Photo by James Gaffney/The Times-PicayuneSo much so that somewhere between here and eternity, the BMW 335i convertible made me forget completely the Porsche Boxster I drove some time back and summarily doused the torch I had carried far too long for that bewitching German heartbreaker. The one that left my life after a mere week-long test drive — never to return again.

“The best way to get over one German luxury sports car is to get inside a new one,” advised a friend well-versed in matters of the heart.

She couldn’t have been more spot on.

By the time this hardtop convertible beauty reveals her turbocharged secrets, you’re so gobsmacked your only recourse is to become a connoisseur of her heart. This, I thought — or did I say it out loud? — while  endorphins racing through my body threatened to make me drunk on my own neurochemicals.

Here’s what else triggered the honeymoon-like exhilaration: once again driving a sports car with an honest-to-God, clutch-assisted transmission (as opposed to those automatic transmissions with clutchless manual mode.) The experience reacquainted me with my passion for motoring — not merely driving.

And to think the 335i convertible is part of BMW’s fleet of “entry-level” vehicles.

The heavens opened. My sinuses cleared. I could see colors again.

‘Blaster’ button
Fortunately, my 11-year-old nephew sitting in the passenger seat was there to burst the bubble of my new-crush reverie with an astute observation about the inside door panels. He especially liked the mix of tan leather, burl wood and dark charcoal-colored cabin materials.

Photo by James Gaffney/The Times-Picayune“It makes you feel rich,” Jacob said, running his hand appreciatively along the curved door handle.

“And feeling rich,” I said, “is the next best thing to being rich.”

This, in no small part, is behind the global appeal of vehicles such as BMW’s entry-level 3-series. In the case of the 335i, when you’re shelling out over $50,000 for a luxury sports car, you want to feel as though you’re getting your money’s worth. Some automakers fail miserably in fulfilling this intrinsic need among savvy automobile buyers, I told Jacob, while others, like BMW, can literally make the 335i owner think, “It’s only $50,000!?”

And this probably before they discover the “blaster” button. Located on the climate control panel, this little wonder immediately cranks up the fan to full throttle and drops the cabin temperature set point to 60 degrees — and stays on until you turn it off. If this alone doesn’t sell these cars to heat-stroked, car-shopping New Orleanians in mid-August, I don’t know what will.   

Even if you’re not an 11-year-old boy, you’ll likely love watching the 335i’s three-piece retractable hood lower its all-steel top Transformer-style while myriad electronic and hydraulic gizmos do their thing.

The car’s sleek rooflines wh

Tags: BMW

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How BMW's 335i turned one writer's heartache into ecstacy was originally published by New Orleans Auto Reviews: BMW. Read the full story by clicking here.